


Narry One-Shots

by writteninarry



Category: One Direction
Genre: Angst, Bottom!Harry, Drama, Fluff, M/M, Smut, Top!Niall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-10 08:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6975619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writteninarry/pseuds/writteninarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just shots to make you drown in feels. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. hey there delilah // au

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I just want you guys to know that lowercase is intended in this one shot. :) And this is dedicated to frincen. This is the one shot I promised you. :)

*niall*

"heeey. this is harry styles and i'm currently busy so just leave a message after the beep."

even before the beep tone sounded, i already hung up. i tried again.

"heeey-" i ended the call. this was useless. i looked around our quiet mullingar neighborhood and i can't help but compare it to new york's busy one. it's been a year since harry flew to new york to study his law degree there. he was constantly reaching out for the first 3 months but after that he just... neglected us. whenever i try calling him, it's either it's on voicemail or he talks for seconds and hungs it up. i am honestly fed up with his shit but i can't bring myself to give up. i love him. i can't just fly to new york since our family isn't that well off and i'm just a simple irish boy who lives in manchester.

i stood up from sitting on our front porch and patted my pants clean. i sighed deeply. this was another one of my hundreds of failed attempts in calling him. maybe tomorrow will bring luck? i sighed again. i never thought this long distance relationship shit will be this hard. i'm just 19 and i felt like i aged 5 years because of this stress harry's giving me. 

**2 years later**

*third person*

there was someone knocking harshly on niall's apartment door at 6:43 in the morning. it was a saturday so niall is, as usual, snoring his lazy ass in bed and having a massive hangover because of last night's wild party at the local pub down their street. usually, no one bothered him at this time and day so why would someone now?

the knocks continued until it turned to banging the door and some few kicks here and there. niall groaned so loud. he was having no more of this. he rolled out of bed and angrily stomped his way to the door. he didn't look at the peephole and just swung the door open and angrily barked at the person.

"what do you want!"

he was still half-asleep and his eyes closed when he opened the door so he didn't see who was in front of him. the person gasped and that made him open his left eye.

he saw a curly-headed lad in front of him that looked familiar. he opened his other eye and his mind registered that in front of him was harry. the harry who left him 3 years ago.

niall's eyes widened and he stepped back, warily. "uh.. how may i help you?"

"niall.." harry murmured and extended his hand to niall's direction as if to touch him. niall stepped back again and resisted the urge to slap harry's hand away.

"what do you want, harry?"

"i'm back now.. and i'll never leave again," harry explained, his eyes looking pleadingly at niall.

niall let out a sarcastic laugh. he looked angrily at harry. "'never leave again'?! harry, you left me 3 years ago!"

"i know.. but niall-" harry tried explaining again but niall cut him off harshly.

"no! just... keep it! i don't need anymore of your bullshit, okay? 3 years are enough time for me to realize that a person like you cannot be trusted."

"niall!" harry shouted as niall slammed the door at his face. niall went down on his knees and let the angry tears fall. 

3 years have passed and harry styles can still make niall horan cry himself to misery.


	2. the sound

Harry

"So, like.. we're going to pretend that nothing happened between us and act like we're still the best of pals?"

"Right!" I exclaimed, patting his back and standing up. His blue eyes met mine and for a moment I was confused on why he was staring at me intently like that until—

"Listen here, Styles," Niall started to say. His hot breath is fanning my face as he angrily looked into my eyes. He was too close to me, dangerously close.

"You can't expect me to forget everything that we did! All those kisses and hugs we shared! I can't forget all about that easily! Did you really assume that for those weeks of our relationship that I felt nothing for you? How dense can you get! Harry, I love you! Don't tell me to forget everything because I can't! Please, just... stop," he finished, now looking down at the ground. His bushy blonde hair is now facing my face and I fight the urge to let my hands ruffle it.

My thoughts were cut by a sound of someone sniffling and it took me a second to realize that it was coming from Niall.

"Niall? Baby, why are you crying?" I cupped his cheeks and forced him to look at me. I saw his eyes welling and almost red. My expression softened and I didn't hesitate to hug him tight. He buried his face on my neck and sobbed harder. I rubbed his back soothingly and whispered quiet words to him. 

We didn't break the hug until someone noisily barged in and that someone turned out to be Louis. 

The moment he saw us, he froze for a second and his eyes widened. Then he immediately turned around and went out again. Niall and I were staring at him the whole time too so yeah, it is a pretty awkward moment. 

"Uhmm..." I started to say. I stepped away from our entagled arms and looked at anything except Niall. I was drawing mini circles on the side of my denim jeans to ease the awkwardness. 

"Harry."

"Yeah?" I finally looked at him. I was waiting for him to speak again. 

"Can we do it all over again?" He asked. 

I pondered it for a moment. I don't really think that our relationship will work with only lust as our main tool. I know he loves me, but I don't think I love him back. 

"Look, Niall. I don't really think it'll work out anymore. I'm really sorry, Niall, but I don't love you." There. I finally said what was on my mind. I care for him a lot, I know. But this isn't love I'm feeling for him. I know everyone can learn how to love their partner if they haven't already, but I don't think that's exactly my case. I'll only see Niall as my best pal whom I care a lot about. I love him, in a way. Just not romantically. 

"Oh," Niall murmured. "Oh well then, I g-guess I'll be going." He smiled at me. His eyes were glassy and his smile was that one of the broken kind. It hurt my heart. I really don't want him hurting because of me.

"I'm so sorry, Niall."

"No, no. Please don't be sorry. It was my fault anyway, falling for you was a choice that I made. I don't want to force you into things that aren't in your liking. I know how it feels, really. I just hope that by the time I've moved on from you, we'll still be friends. Can you wait for me that long, Harry?"

"Of course I can, Niall! I'd be waiting for you, bud. I'll never leave your side," I reassured him as I went to his side and gave him a side hug.

"Thanks mate," Niall politely smiled. It was like I was talking to a different version of Niall but I can't lose hope cause I know that somewhere deep inside this whole new Niall is his old, bubbly self.

That was 6 months ago. 

The Niall who told me to wait for him to move on, the Niall who was my bestfriend was gone. And I really wish I could use that just as a metaphor but no. He... he's dead. And it was all my fault. 

"Oh god," Liam muttered, still shocked from the news that Greg told us about. 

Louis, Liam and I were hanging out in Liam's house, casually playing FIFA while munching down popcorn. Niall was back in Mullingar to enjoy time with his family and maybe move on from me. Sigh. Louis was cheering loudly since he beat Liam's ass for the third time today and Liam was yelling for a rematch when my phone rung. I immediately shushed the boys and told them it was Greg. I answered it, putting the phone on speaker so the other boys can hear and talk to him as well.

"Hey, Greg!" I cheerfully greeted and the two boys followed suit. 

"Hey... Uhmm.. listen," Greg started to say. He didn't sound cheerful like he normally does. And he sounded like he just finished crying. I wonder what's wrong.

"Uhmm.. there's bad news," Greg said and immediately my heart started racing. Please don't let it be what I was thinking. 

"What is it, Greg?" Liam asked warily.

"Niall... uh.. he.. uh.. h-he's dead," Greg muttered. My heart stopped beating for a second and when it cane back it felt like all air was sucked back into me. I couldn't have heard right.

"Wh-what? What did you say, Greg? Niall... he's dead?" Louis asked unbelievingly, widening his eyes expressively at the phone. 

Instead of replying, Greg stifled a sob but failed and he was full sobbing on us at the phone. I couldn't cry, I was still feeling numb and shocked. Liam had an are-you-shitting-me look on his face and he was silent on the corner. Louis immediately whipped his phone out of his pocket to call the others to let them know. He had a scowl on his face like he was in deep thought and I know that he's sad as well. 

"Liam..." I called, wanting to be comforted. The news was sinking in and I could feel my chest getting heavier and the tears welling in my eyes. My throat hurts from preventing myself from sobbing and I honestly just wanted to see Niall again. Even though I know that when I see his cold, dead body in his coffin will break me in more ways I can imagine. It was all my fucking fault. If I didn't reject him then maybe he'll still be my carefree and bubbly buddy. 

And then a thought flashed in my mind. I was in love with him. All this time, I was fucking in love with him. I was in love with him and I didn't even notice it. Maybe I rejected him 6 months ago because in the back of my mind, I was scared of other people knowing and judging us and because I was surprised and confused and honestly, I should've thought of Niall confessing his love to me more rather than rejecting him right there, on the spot. I know I'm mostly dumb but goddamn. This is really idiotic and I feel like shit right now. And I fucking honestly take full blame on Niall's death. 

I can't believe he's dead. Six months ago he was alive and healthy and wait...

I grabbed my now forgotten phone on the table counter and saw that Greg dropped the call. I called him again and told him that I'm going to Mullingar asap. I need to see my Nialler. Oh god. 

•4 days later•

"Maura? Maura!" I greeted mourningly as I arrived at their house. She was the one who opened the door, looking like she haven't gotten any sleep for these past few days. Her eyes were red and still had tears welling in them. I opened my arms for a comforting hug, which she took. She sobbed in my chest and I just held her there, preventing myself from crying too. We were still at the door when she broke the hug and wiped her tear-stained cheeks. 

"I'm sorry about that, Harry," she chuckled half-heartedly. "Just a bit emotional, 'tis all."

"Oh, I understand." I smile politely at her. I was waiting for her to let me in. 

"Come in," she urged, opening the door wider. I stepped inside their house and looked around. The last time I went here was almost 6 years ago and nothing much has changed, except for some furniture arrangements I guess. 

"So, Maura.. what happened to Niall?" I asked her, mentally and emotionally preparing myself. 

"He came home here 6 months ago, right?" She started and I nodded in agreement. "At first, he was fine. He was getting along with everyone well and he was still the huge eater," she laughed quietly. I smiled fondly.

"But 3 months after, he started being distant. He would often skip meals and always lock himself in his room. When we ask him what he's doing in there, he says he's reading a book on meditating and stuff and figured that it was for his greater good. At least he was helping himself, right?"

I thought through this. From the part where Maura said Niall would always lock himself in his room was already suspicious enough. But think about it, if I was in Maura or anyone of their family member's shoes, I wouldn't even suspect because of this tiny, little thing called trust. 

"Go on," I urged her. 

"Then the other day, he stopped going out of his room. He sometimes gets out of his room to get snacks or what not from the kitchen whenever he would lock himself in his room but he just stopped. We were really worried so I went up and knocked on his door and asked for him to go out and talk to me. He would always reply, but at that time he didn't. We waited for 3 hours before we forcibly opened his door and we found him in his bed, surrounded with pills," Maura finished, ready to cry again. I put my hand on her shoulder as a sign of comfort before she excused herself so she can gather herself and get me some snacks. 

And then I was left alone in my thoughts. So he died of overdose... didn't they find any suicide note or letter anywhere in his room? There could be a clue there as to why he did such horrible thing.

I waited for Maura to come back and after she set down the plate of half-baked cookies and the glass of lemonade down, I was on my feet and asking her if there were any traces of suicide letters or notes. She said that no, they haven't seen anything. I asked her to take me to Niall's room and I asked her permission if I can rummage around. She agreed and escorted me to the said room. 

I stepped inside Niall's bedroom and saw that it was all still the same, like how it was 6 years ago when we use to share his bed when I went here. I tried not to eye the bed warily. 

I went to his drawers and immediately started my search. After 20 minutes of searching, I came up with nothing. I then proceeded to open his closet. I went to see in between the clothes and when I was about to give up, I saw something metallic and immediately got it.

It was a tin biscuit can that is cylinder-shaped and had the label "Harry's weird shité" in Niall's shitty and hard to understand writing. My weird shité? I opened the lid and saw all the stuff I used to send to his doorstep at his London penthouse. I saw the lock of braided hair that I sent him from my recent haircut. I also saw the tiny bottle of lilac-colored hair dye that I sent him as a "prank" gift for his 22nd birthday but is actually my gift to him since I wanted him to return his lilac hair. It was damn iconic. I miss him so much.

I found many more stuff but what got me is the folded paper on the bottom of the can. I saw my name and it piqued my curiosity so I got it. 

It said:

To: Harry

The only man I ever loved my entire life

From: Niall

Just your best mate. 

Well, that's depressing. I opened the letter and just let the tears fall. 

My dear, 

Hello, Harry. Sorry if this letter is written with shitty and messy handwriting or the paper is the cheap one. Haven't got enough time to buy scented stationery. Anyways, I'd like to say a few things to you as goodbye, Harry. 

I'd like to confess something, to start things right. Here it goes. I have been in love with you ever since the X-Factor days, Harry. Back when we were young and still anonymous and just another face in the crowd. When we got put together as a band, I already saw the twinkle in your green eyes and the depth of your dimples. I loved everything about you, Harry. 

Even though everyone else only saw you and Louis, which by the way continue to hurt in countless ways up until now, I never lost hope. Even through Caroline, Taylor, Kendall and Nadine... and all other girls, I stood straight and stood by my love for you. 

Then our little fling started. I was just playing when I first showed interest in our little arrangement since I don't want you hinting on my long time feelings for you. But when you told me that we should stop, I just completely lost it. I confessed and then you rejected me. Just like that. I spent years of keeping my mouth shut and just admiring you from afar and just by a little slip of the tongue, everything was ruined. 

It hurt me even more than everything else before it. It hurt me more, in ways I can only imagine. The pain wouldn't stop, so I had to end it. I'm sorry for leaving you without saying goodbye, Harry. But it's okay. Louis and Liam will be there for you. And I'm sure you will forget about me and move on with your life and meet the one you will love like how I loved you on the way. I give my best wishes to you, Harry. And I'm sorry for not being too strong, but the mere fact that I exist in this world with you will forever be painful. I hope you understand. 

This is my cue to end this letter. I love you, Harry. More than you'll ever know.

Your best mate,  
Ni

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMYGOD WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO PLS DONT KILL ME ISTG THESE ANGST SHOTS ARE TOO DAMN STRONG
> 
> woah gwyneth calm down on the caps lock
> 
> anyways lololol sorry yall i tried to make it longer but i cannot make it anymore longer as it is lol. and sorry if the story was cut since it felt inappropriate still giving harry input in the end it's like tfios where hazel grace was reading gus' letters to the douche author omygod i cried. 
> 
> so anyways hope u enjoyed !

**Author's Note:**

> istg i was going to prolong this but it felt like i was dragging it lmao anyways it is a one-shot so
> 
> hope you guys enjoyed it!


End file.
